Covens

So you are a Witch. Perhaps you feel alone and this makes you hurt and makes you sad, perhaps you feel lost with no sense of direction, perhaps you just want a damn sense of community...whatever your reason you start the search for covens or some sort of witch gathering. Something...Anything.

I hear you. I understand you.

I decided to write this little post about my own journey with covens. You can use this as kind of a guide for yourself...

My first time: I met a woman who, I didn't know it at the time, was already recruiting for members of a new coven she was forming. I didn't even know that I was a witch. Sure I loved everything witchy and had incorporated much of it in my life: a small knowledge of herbs, interest in the zodiac, astrology, the moon, gemstones, the universe....I was lucky the Coven pretty much fell into my lap thanks to this woman. I learned so much from the women that came and went through this coven...and there was a few as, let's be honest here, it is hard for a group of women to get along especially when there is a hierarchy involved. I will never regret joining that coven. I learned circle work, I dipped my toe in spells and started learning of gods and goddesses, I learned the dance of women. Good and Bad. I grew so much in this coven and when it was my turn for my journey to end with these women I was left in a stutter step.

I will never forget that day. It rained an entire month. My heart was sad, I felt lost and unsure. But I knew that leaving had been the best decision for me. The coven was going in a direction that I could not get on board with. I lost the connection with the woman who had started it all. I lost my faith in her as a spiritual leader.

For awhile I was okay. I still took much of my learning and applied it everyday. I learned even more in this time. I learned how to make the mundane magikal. I learned that magic is within. But I felt so alone. No sense of sisterhood. I could never talk about my interests with others without making them uncomfortable or even confused. I had my family who found it all fascinating but I guess I was searching for something I never knew I would miss. Sisterhood. Structure.

 It took awhile. I found this blog and it all started with just a simple craft for a solstice....and I felt hope and love and gratefulness and more important I felt like I was learning again. Like I wasn't alone on this journey. So I followed her on everything I could. I followed blogs she followed so that I could learn even more. It sounds super creepy lol, but I just was knowledge thirsty. I learned from her how to simply exist being me, being okay with being alone on this journey....and that was beautiful. I began to develop my own structures and traditions. I was finally okay with being alone...
and then a woman from the coven reached out to me. (she had left the coven before myself) we reconnected. We started a witch study group for ourselves that quickly evolved into a coven of two.

We took control of our journey and made our own structure within this coven of no hierarchy. We took measures to be constantly honest with each other, we discovered that we were two halves to a whole. We journeyed together but learned many different things that we then bring back to the table. Our personalities were so different and yet the same. It was a beautiful connection and one that we constantly tried to keep important everyday. I found the sisterhood I was so yearning to have. The coven that we had developed together had no hierarchy, no power plays, no manipulation. We were simply two sisters ever evolving, ever learning. It was a powerful magikal connection. And yet it still fell apart. In ways in which I still don't understand. All I know is that I have no regrets, I was completely "skyclad", open and vulnerable and gave all I could.

 So that's my story in short.. Here is the advice I would give to those seeking covens or starting one:

~ You are a Witch. You make your own rules. Don't get stuck in the mud in too many rules or in the strictness of others.
~ Hierarchy means power plays, control and manipulation. We all bring something to the table, no matter how small that is just as important as another. We are all fucking important and powerful not just the "High Priestess".
~Make an Itinerary for the Month so you don't get lost in gossip and small talk and of how your week is going when you meet up with your sisters
~ Meet once a week!! Sounds intense, but what a recharge to the system. You wont regret it,
~ Sisters with children. (yes cats and dogs too) Our children fucking rock. I know. But we also tend to fall into chatter about them in uncomfortable silences, those uncomfortable silences is magik at its finest. Push the awkwardness into a direction.
~ Own Your Shit. Be Badass, Be Soft. Be Dark, Be Light. Be ALL of It. Balance. Be TRUTHFUL no matter what. It is honouring yourself and your sister(s).

Thats all for now

Tokuni
The Wolf Witch